I love coffee. That is the long and short of it. Caramel macchiatos, french vanillas, pumpkin spice lattes, I love it all. Starbucks? Best friend. However, my body doesn't always love coffee so much. And no, by that I do not mean it makes me poop my pants. I thought you might assume that by my vague sentence before, but I'm no pants-pooper. Yet. Come back in sixty years and we'll check in on that one again.
Sometimes I forget that if I don't eat often during the day I start getting shaky. I can deal with that pretty easily by eating something. But sometimes I forget that an empty stomach plus caffeine triggers my anxiety. That, I can't deal with so easily. This situation just happened, and I literally nearly had a panic attack in the office.
It was too late before I realized I hadn't eaten in a while and the two coffees I had this morning were catching up with me. My heart started pounding in my chest and my head was getting fuzzy. I felt so anxious that I thought I was going to throw up on my desk.
I think sometimes people don't realize that a panic attack doesn't have to be ABOUT something. It can just happen. I know tons of people have anxiety, some worse than others. I used to be in the not-so-anxious category until maybe a year ago when, for whatever reason, anxiety caught up with me. Now it sits at my doorstep waiting to be let in... most often in the form of health anxiety. This is something I have blogged about once before, I am an admitted, self-diagnosed (ha) hypochondriac.
And know what? It sucks. But I deal with it. I am slowly learning to put my fear into the hands of someone bigger than me up there, because it sure isn't doing me any good. I want people to know that anxiety isn't some crazy person issue, us normal people (okay, so I'm not that normal, whatevs) get it too. And we deal with it. On a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, life-long basis. And it sucks. So let's band together and start a club. No, let's not do that. But let's support eachother and know that there are other anxiety-ridden folk too. It helps knowing, it really does.